Not commit suicide la...Should i stay committed? Committed to my guy..

One thing I would like to clarify to the whole world is that usually most girls like me would stay committed to their love partner and would never dare to two-time them! Agree???

But in my context, its kind of difficult to do so...
Yes, he is much older than me and u would think he is ready to settle down. However I doubt so!
I'm 17. I have a long way to go until I graduate from polytechnic which is in 3 years time. I do not have the confidence of it lasting long as i have seen alot of love-gone-bad situation, i.e. my late mum and Botak. With his attitude right now, that also dampens my confidence. He loves looking and staring at other girls when i'm right there beside him, OUCH! That hurts. He would also give comments that make me feel inferior to that other girl. ADUI!!! That hurts even more. Sometimes I know he doesnt mean it but its just a little too much when he knows i do not like it. He would openly talk about the sweet memories of himself with his ex which hurts even worst. I informed him about my likes and hates but he doesnt seem to be absorbing it in his brain. I have done many sacrifices for him but I doubt he realised it.

I have no idea what else to express..out of ideas as this free access lab i'm in is noisy with noise la! My inspiration is cut short! DAMN kelings making lots of noise... GTG! Tata!

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