GOSH!

I am starting to feel weird nowadays, more specifically ever since that day. Maybe euphoria. Thinking about the events that have happened again and again. Smiling when I am not supposed to.

Yesh usually I do smile and laugh alone when I'm staring into the monitor of my desktop or laptop but that is because I am reading funny emails or chatting on MSN with Ms Mat Tempeh aka GemoklyGorgeous. She and her crappy nonsensical stories, theories and jokes never fail to make me laugh. Drama lah, ultimate dream lah. If not I will be chatting on my mobile or home phone with her or Pika. Gossiping and updating each other on current events and happenings in our daily lives. Something like our very own Channel Newsasia. Haha! Mcm pahamz.

Back to the topic lah..Yeah, feeling weird. It is not exactly a weird feeling. Its just something I dont feel that often. Maybe I know what it is but I just dont want to admit it. I so much want to feel this way but at the same time I dont want to. I so want to tell but at the same time I dont want to. I do admit that I have been longing for it but at the same time I am so freaking scared of what the future holds.

Ideas of different kinds of fears and incidents are emerging in my mind when I think about it. That is when I dont want to feel it. Then the wall starts surrounding me again. Nothing has ever gone the way I wanted it to be. That's negativity, SRI! You have always been telling and advising people to be positive, you have got to start looking on the bright side of life.

I am just confused with the feeling I'm experiencing.

GOSH to the power of infinity and beyond!

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